Sometimes there are moments which remind you of a similar moment in the past and sometimes those moments might have a past for themselves. Recently I stumbled upon such a moment in time. I was at the window seat in the train gazing into the open night. Night, from any moving vehicle, is like breezing through a photo gallery filled only with negatives. Only the contours of objects remain in the dim light of the moon and you strain your eyes to see what that object truly is. I was unraveling this mystery of nature when my eyes fell upon the source that caused this effect, the crescent of the moon. There it was distant yet somehow very approachable. This crescent stuck in the sky at a precise angle reminded me of another time and another place but with a similar moon. It was again a crescent trying to light the dark sky seen from the window of a train with a different destination. I was in the process of understanding life then and I guess I am still trying to understand it. And there it was,the crescent, like a beacon that reminded me of something that I had figured about life then but had forgotten on the way. That night when I looked at it, it was not something that keeps coming night after night every night that we are used to seeing but it was this instantaneous flash when you realize that there is more to something than what meets the eye. As I was trying to take in the wholeness of the dark sky that night it was not the moon I saw but a dimple in the beautiful cheek that was zoomed in front of me. A solemn face having an innocent smile with the dimple on its cheek accentuating its beauty. I was feeling sad that night, in the moment long gone, and here was the universe giving me a kind smile saying that it understands what I am going through and that things would be better. It made me feel gifted that I was sharing myself with the universe that night and somehow I lost that thread in the days that followed. As the moment within a moment brought back that realization, I look at the sky above and can still see the universe smiling at me. I wish I understand life someday but no matter how long it takes I know there is someone who knows that I am trying.

Waiting for my real life to begin...

Its not like that I am but this line came to my mind when I was listening to the track with the same wordings by Brad Paisley (Its a soundtrack for Scrubs). Anyways this post is a detour from the Eurotrip experience that I was half heartedly sharing with you readers.

Back to those words...so here I was listening to this well composed track when my friend Rachit came online on gtalk (Know more about Rachit here). Anyways, Rachit was with me at IIM C and our discussions about life and all that shit that comes along with it have kept me going during these excruciatingly boring past two months of vacation.

"I don't like the concept" said Rachit. The concept he was talking about is "waiting for one's life to begin" and I asked why? Life,according to him, has to be lived in the moment and should not be something you wait for. The more you wait the more you lose the precious time you have on your hands. Makes sense doesn't it? Though it might be an idealistic thought that one should live in the moment and not care about anything else but often than not in life all we land up doing is wait for a better life. This is when the discussion went to the next level as to why don't we live in the moment? what stops us from doing so?

Couple of reasons for it: Fear of self,fear of society and above all fear of death. Below is what we discussed on this matter:
Rachit: Sometimes I feel that life is like a huge treasure hunt where we have to see the contradictions we live in, figure out the clue, and then figure out the answer

me: but i guess evry few find the treasure

Rachit: not necessarily.. I mean.. depends..I mean isn't that a contradiction to begin with, ie we are looking for the treasure when we are born with itself

me: well said

the point is we feel there is treasure somewhere and wait to find it

but the treasure is in th emoment

Rachit: yeah that's the point. yes

Just that, sometimes I feel that this whole concept of fear that man has developed, fear of "God", of death, of old age, of public embarassment, of losing etc cripples us.

I guess we need to be fearless and then things would fall in place

me: i guess so

Rachit: hmm

me: i guess we have been programmed to live with others and that creates all these fears

Rachit: yeah that's what .. what programs us are the social the norms.. otherwise, aren't we born naked? So the fear of public embarassment is man made for sure. Can't say much about the fears of death and old age

me: similarly when a person knows he has to die his attitude is way too different

Rachit: Yes.. just that realization that we are impermanent should spark something within.. but it's tough.. you know.. those who are alive look at death in a detached manner

me: i guess its a subject we tend to avoid until its unavoidalbele :DRachit: Yes :) that's true

me: but if you think abt it one should give it some thought

Rachit: I am reading this book called The Death of Ivan Ilyich. By Leo Tolstoy.. it's about this only

Yeah.. this can make us all better people I guess

I don't know whether any of this makes sense to you but surely did to us. The fear of death is a crucial subject that according to us one should address upfront. The famous convocation speech of Steve Jobs at Stanford refers to this point as well. If you haven't listened to it already do it now. Its the kind of speech one would like to hear in his/her convocation adn we started discussing about the lousy speech that we were forced to listen to...more on that next :)

Eurotrip: Part 3

They say that a picture speaks a thousand words...so here is my longest post till date :)

Above: Comics Museum and Autoworld in Brussels
Below: Party time in Munich